» Sony PS3 Playstation 3 60GB NEW, deliver and GET DRUNK «
Listing ended at December 18, 2006, 6:30 am
Original listing number:180062677194
Semagic 1.5.5.6U - blastradys @ livejournal.comAbout me and this dumb auction Ok, by now everyone is
familiar with Sony's Playstation 3. Yes, it's a great system I'm told and
nothing beats playing Ridge Racer 7 in 1080p unless you're playing Ridge Racer 7
in 1080p and maybe getting a handjob at the same time.
By now everyone
knows about the PS3 so why I would excersise my redundant muscles and post all
the system specs here like a jerk. This is the 60GB version, who the hell wants
the 20GB? Not this pirate, matey.
The unit is new and mine - preordered
it from EB Games and got it only last week because all the first shipment went
to stupid little kids who got their rich parents up at 2 in the morning to drive
them to the store in their Excursions and get in line ahead of me.
I
preordered this system with the hope that I could make some money selling it,
yes...on eBay for more money than it's worth. But I was 11th in line and the
pimple faced bastard ahead of me got the last system on launch day and I had to
wait a week for it and by then the market was saturated with PS3s and PS3s held
up to the camera by naked chicks with exposed left nipples.
But you see,
I am poor. And I need cash. Why? Well, I will be completely honest:
My
name is Rich - I'm 22 and the clock never stops. I was in school, twice, but
dropped out. Not working right now and have a bit of debt to worry about. I live
at home, yeah, like a jackass.
I hate this place, and hate living here.
Every familiar face is a bloody Cutco swipe agaist my being. I think I finally
know what I want to do with my life but I need money to pay off my credit card
and other bills to get all my affairs in order.
My mom stuck me with a
$900 dollar medical bill that I had to take out another credit card to shoulder.
I bought a cool car 4 years ago and the engine blew the first day. I have spent
so much more money than I paid for it, investing in parts and costly first time
mistakes, all because of pride, I think, not sure. I don't know. But it's a god
damn money pit and I haven't been able to get rid of it. Got it started today
but hey, it doesn't move forward, only reverse! SWEET.
I was in Los
Angeles last year and didn't move my car for street cleaning on Edgemont St. one
day, so I got a ticket for $40. I didn't pay it, naturally, so now they are
collecing on my ass for $140. A cop pulled me over last week for not having my
seatbelt on for 10 seconds when I pulled out of the gas station -
$25.
Went downtown (Chicago) the other day and my car got towed because I
parked in front of the Cadillac Theatre. Yeah, I know, my fault, but hey,
mistakes happen yeah? It was $160 to get it out plus two tickets from the lovely
police worth another $100. Oh yeah, and my alternator on my working car went out
yesterday, AWESOME.
Also, apparently, I owe the State of Indiana money in
backtaxes, due to working in that state once 3 years ago. Shits!
So
at this point some may wonder why I DON'T JUST GET A JOB. Well, I've had many
jobs. Probably more than you. And this may be a deficiency of mine, but I never
end up lasting more than a few months at any given place because none of them
have been loves of mine, so after some time my head fills up with crazy ideas
and fears of isolation and hopelessness, that I may be stuck there forever,
deburring brass or laying sod or washing dishes or polishing polycarbonate
eyeglass material or peeling off shingles.
Sometimes I think I may have
made big mistakes early on which place me in shit job after shit job, that I may
never recover from these mistakes and that they will haunt me, eventually
casting me into such a dark, deep hole I will never rip passion from anything
ever again.
I quit my last job at a machine shop 2 months ago because I
ripped a part of my hair out at a drill press and they were assholes about it. I
was looking at it today and it still hasn't grown back. Any of you know how long
hair takes to grow back after it's been ripped out? I'm starting to get worried
and it's depressing me. Oh well, can't really notice a teaspoon of shit on a
whole truckload!
But I'm stuck here, due mostly to my own choices but I'd
like to get on with it. Too much time is spent by people sending energy into the
void - into other people's voids. I'm god damn tired of breaking myself for
things and people and jobs that pay shit and don't offer insurance.
So
back to the PS3. Yeah, I'd like to make some cash so I can move the hell out,
and if you've read this far you probably realize that there is some desperate
hook I'm going to throw to net more cash from you. And you're right, but it's
not too desperate, I think, and might even be interesting if it all works out.
But even if this shiny black blu-ray equipped girlfriend eliminator only sells
for $850 or something, I guess that's better than nothing.
The Special Sauce I will start the bidding off at
retail. If you win the auction you will have the opportunity to pay an
additional $250 to have me HAND DELIVER the PS3 and
GET DRUNK WITH YOU if you live within 100 miles of
Chicago, IL. $500 to deliver and get drunk anywhere else in Illinois or Indiana.
Other states contact me and a price can be worked out. I will bring liquor. Or
beer. Or both! Up to you. You pay for the booze.
This auction ends
the night of the 17th of December, so there will be enough time to either ship
this out to you or drive out and party before Christmas. Or whatever
stupid holiday you celebrate. Also, I will include this magazine with the
PS3; I think it has something to do with tractors:
Payment I take BidPay
(preferred), personal check (wait to clear) and money order, and also,
begrudgingly, Paypal. I really hate Paypal. But everyone uses it. Kind of like
Windows. Or Myspace. Or condoms. Well, not always. Ha ha.
I was planning
just to put up the PS3 and the liquor offer, but all that other stuff up there
just kind of came out and now you probably all think I'm a grade-A douchebag
loser. And that's ok.
My Promise But who's
gonna drink with a loser, right? Well, I may be a loser, but I know how to PARTY
man, totally. That's what happens when you're depressed all the time and have no
prospects. So for the next seven days I will occasionally post pictures of me
partying PROVING that I party hard and fast and swift, like a drunk ninja
surfing and playing air guitar.
Oh yeah, and if you aren't 21, for legal reasons, don't expect the drunk
deal. Feel free to still bid on the PS3, though. Not that I wouldn't
party with you if you were under 21, but I mean, jesus, I can't really say I
will on eBay, can I. So yeah, gotta be of legal drinking age to mount this
hampster, metaphorically. If you're an 18 year old girl I'll still have
sex with you, though.
And by the way, I'd like to remind all you potential bidders - if
you are doubtful of my intention or ability to party hard - that
I have god damn 100 percent positive feedback! Sure there are a few
neutrals in there but who doesn't have those...come on man, I'm a valuable
member of the eBay community! You won't get burned.
Pictures But to start off here are some pictures of the
PS3 and a piece of paper with my eBay ID on it, as well as some drunk pictures
of me last week. Yeah. Picture of receipt too. Why are some the pictures
in black and white? Because good black and white is nice to look at. And I
didn't just desaturate these man, I used the CHANNEL MIXER, pizzah!
Oh
yeah, you see that bow behind the PS3? Yeah, that's a god damn BOW. I found it
it the basement. I don't have arrows yet but I'm working on that. Dude, I have a
pimple on my NECK, what the hell.
If you have questions about any of this
please ask using ebay's form, or contact me at the AIM name "blastradys".
Pay for this online auction using BidPay® - Seller
BidPay ID: blastradys
BidPay.com
Pictures of me getting sloshed:
This item was presented in category: Video Games » Systems